"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
