After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
