...so i touched it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
