This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
