he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize