Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
