dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
