Betty ford says i'm here all night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
