My brain says no but my pants say off.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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