why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize