plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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