Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
