We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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