I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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