i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize