I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yo dont text me then not text me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
