so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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