I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
