Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
