its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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