Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
