Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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