so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
