the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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