i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
