hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
