Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
