He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
