I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
