She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize