just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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