I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
