Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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