I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
