There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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