the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
