whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
