She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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