Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
