he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
