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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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