So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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