i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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