margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
