You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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