Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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