Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
