Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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