I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
