I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
