Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude. I can hear the air.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
