Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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