woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
