I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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