You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so explain again why im purple
no
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize