I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
