Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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