i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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