My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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