he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
