I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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